honesty — my prime virtue
We’ve had some amazing discussions on this blog about virtues such as gratitude and patience. I am very grateful to each and every one of you who has participated in these discussions. We all learn from them.
But to me, I think the most important virtue of all is honesty. It is pivotal to everything I do in my work, my professional life and my being as a person. The very essence of my being is my integrity and the fact that I am honest to the core.
I was raised to believe my word is my handle. It is something people will come to know as being a given with me. I can be trusted. I do not lie. And I will not tolerate being lied to.
Something happened in my life over the past couple of weeks that made me realize just how important honesty — or lack thereof — is to me.
I was lied to by a couple of timeshare people (salesmen posing as “member services reps.”) I already had a relationship with the company, so when I was invited to attend a short 45-minute “Program Update” by the Member Services Department, I took advantage of the opportunity to learn more about the benefits I may not have been taking advantage of in their extensive, somewhat complicated program.
I went into that presentation with my guard down as I thought I was entering a safe place. Not one where I would be preyed upon like an unsuspecting deer grazing on new shoots of tender green grass.
Unsuspecting deer
The timeshare industry wonders why it has such a bad reputation. It is instances such as what happened recently to me that make it that way.
I can assure you that if my situation is not resolved in a favourable way, I will name the company. But for now, I wait while they “review my case.” In the interim, I caution you all to use your utmost discretion when dealing with ANY timeshare representatives. Whether they be salespeople, customer service reps, member services reps. In my book, they are all now of questionable integrity.
How about you? What has been your experience with timeshare reps?
How important is honesty in your life? Is it your prime virtue? Please share your thoughts. They inspire me, and give me the drive and determination to move forward.
To the last poster: Thanks so much for sharing your story. Sorry. I couldn't find your name on your site.
It is truly amazing how relentless those timeshare salespeople are. They really are like sharks that circle and circle until they draw blood. Hats off to you for escaping unscathed.
My husband and I were on our honeymoon last August and we were approached in the hotel we were staying at if we were interested in touring the new hotel the chain was opening. We were promised with a 50 Euro gift coupon for any of the restuarants in the hotel we were staying at if we went. My husband and I, none the wiser, said "of Course" as we had decided earlier that day we would return to Malta for a vacation in the future. What a great way to see more of the island without having to put in the effort.
There was no mention of buying or selling but we got a tip off the cab driver that brought my husband and myself to the new hotel to watch ourselves.
As soon as we got to the hotel we were shown a tour and then sat down in a group office where the salesman tried to pull out of us what our dream vacation was and questions of the like. My husband and I had never considered those questions before so we were hesitant to answer. Of course, then the sale pitch went on. And on. And on. For three hours.
I was annoyed that the salesman focused on my husband and my husband's wages. I started to get annoyed because nobody was honest with us from the start, I felt second class in that business pitch, and whenever I asked about what would happen after 35 years of buying into this time share what do I get at the end?
The sales man kept avoiding answering that question, refocusing always on Clive. They pushed so hard and left Clive and I alone to discuss buying a time share (we had never even thought of buying one until this point).
I'm sorry, my husband and I have the lifestyle we do because we both work. The year is 2011. But we would only get the 50 Euro gift certificate if stayed to the end, and gosh darn it, I was going to get my 50 Euro girt certificate.
My husband and I both came out of the "tour" fairly stressed out mostly because nobody was honest from the beginning, and it just got worse from there. We felt we wasted 3 hours of our honeymoon and we were never going to get those back. The 50 Euros made up for the time spent, but only slightly. We've since made up our minds not to indulge in time shares.
Wanted to give you all an update. The timeshare company has confirmed that they will cancel the evil contract and that I will get a full refund. Yay!
We're still ironing out some additional details.
Keep your timeshare stories coming in. I've been collecting them (on and off line) and really appreciate you sharing them with me.
Honesty rules, and here's hoping the people who work for timeshare companies will learn that mantra and save the rest of us a good deal of aggravation.
Thanks to Lisa, Esther and Margaret for sharing their thoughts.
Great point. Lisa! If we have one standard and are honesty to everyone, we don't have to worry about what lie we told to whom. If only everyone could be that way.
Esther, yes, I used Visa to pay the down payment on the transaction and fortunately, they told em that Visa Regulations state that customers have 15 days to cancel a timeshare transaction. So, I followed their advice and sent a fax followed by a registered letter, advising the company that I wished to terminate the contract. I expect to hear from them by Monday, as I had been notified by them last week that they were investigating and would get back to me within 3-5 biz days.
And Margaret, I like the point you make about how these timeshare guys can turn into evil liars (my words not yours) once they enter the office. They may be likable, semi-honest people when they're with their friends or family. But when they're at work… they're driven by greed and other negative motivators. Kind of a Jekyl & Hyde situation. Sociopathic indeed!
Thanks again to everyone who took the time to share their thoughts. Much appreciated, and perhaps fodder for some investigative journalism.
Hi Doreen,
Don't know the details of your timeshare, but just from these posts and your comments, I take that it was a profoundly unpleasant experience.
Got me thinking about others who betray trust and do it with ease. I'm thinking of Bernie Madoff and Earl Jones here in Canada. And for what? Money, it would appear. But at what price. Can some people compartmentalize what they do so neatly that they can interact, joke, laugh and present a persona that is so utterly false. Someone should do a study on that. Methinks it would fall within the sociopathic realm.
But in the real world, I think it's important to follow an internal code, certainly to do no harm, but ideally to meet and greet people with an open heart, curiosity about who they are and what trials they face, and to part with a sense of being richer in spirit for the encounter.
I know you are strong in the pay it forward part of life, Doreen, and I , among many people, are grateful for it.
BTW, thanks for presenting at PWAC last Monday. Part of your busy week, no doubt
Hi Doreen,
I'm really sorry to hear of your experience. My belief is that those "deals" are the hooks that get people thinking they can get something for nothing. When approached by timeshare people, my partner and I say, "no thank you!" and keep walking. They can keep all their "free stuff."
Another thought…some sales people may think that Canadians are pushovers; namely, we are too polite and can't say no. Time share sales staff can rethink that one. We can learn to say NO THANK YOU! loud and clear.
Not sure exactly of any details of your specific situation…but if you pay by credit card, you likely have a receipt (if only online) you can call the bank and explain your situation. They will reverse the transaction. Then, at least you might feel less "ripped off." Not so easy with cash…no paper trail.
Timeshares: We went to Sanibel Island, to my aunt and uncle's house. Hurricane George crashed the party and we had to evacuate, after learning how to install hurricane shutters. We headed inland and ended up near Disney World. We sat through a time share presentation to get cheap tickets for Disney because we hadn't brought a lot of money because we planned to hang out poolside at the house for the week. We were trapped in the middle of a compound, rapidly approaching the checkout time for our hotel. We knew we weren't interested, and if we were interested, we'd buy in Canada, in Canadian dollars, thank you. We had much the same response as you did, Doreen when we said, "well this has been fun, but can we have our tickets now, we have to check out…"
Honesty: I grew up in a house where "don't think, don't feel and don't tell" were the mantra. I won't be that anymore. Integrity is essential to me. I conduct my business dealings upfront and honest, and expect others to do likewise. People comment on my blog about my honesty and my courage in being honest. It's not courage. It's easier than tracking what you told to whom.
Right on, Stacey.
I hope that those who are dishonest with us have pins and needles down to the essence of their beings and that some day they come to the realization that they have wasted their lives.
Life is so precious. What a waste to live it as a lier.
When you say Doreen that honesty is the essence of our being I couldn't agree with you more because, without it, a person has little credibility, making it hard to trust him or her. I know that I wouldn't feel good about myself if people felt that they couldn't trust me.
Being honest and having integrity, I believe, says the most about a person's character and not being honest can certainly erode and destroy relationships, whether personal or business. A lack of honesty can make for a very messy life, and I think life has enough bumps without causing even more unnecessarily.
But mainly, for me, I want to go to bed at night with a clean and clear conscious. This is very important to me as well as being able to say, at the end of the day, that I treated others with respect and kindness.
You hit the nail on the head, Larry! Successful sales people are the ones with integrity.
The ones who are not so successful seem to/think they have to trick/lie to their prospects in order to turn them into customers.
I agree. The idea of a timeshare can be a good one. That's why I bought into it back in 2009. But there was no excuse for the salespeople to have disguised themselves as "member services reps" who were giving advice/news on the program "for my best interest" when really … all they cared about was making a buck.
I appreciate your insights, knowing that you are now in sales, and that you spent many years as a law enforcement officer.
Our last time share presentation we took part in was in Cozumel years ago. We were running out of cash so we took a couple of FREE breakfast buffets, listened to the shpeels and lied about our financial means etc and left……with full bellies to absorb the liquor back at the hotel! lol. I know people who love their timeshares but some of their sales techniques definitely could use some cleaning up.
In sales, the really successful people are the ones with integrity, but a lot of people still go for the sale as opposed to thinking about the repeat and referral business they gain from being honest.
Larry
Traffic Ticket Guru
My husband, Reg, is like you Suzanne. He squirms thru every one of those timeshare presentations and asks them very poignant questions. I'm much more trusting and get somewhat irritated with his skepticism. But he was oh-so-right on this one. I was definitely scammed by representatives of what I thought was an honest company. We'll see if they make it right. Will keep you all posted!
Sorry to hear about your bad situation.
I tend to stay away from sales people of any kind. I am very skeptical. But when it comes to individuals – people I work with, who I meet or or who I consider friends – my guard is generally down and that can be a problem if they turn out not to be honest.
Hope all works out for you.
My wife and I were just in Las Veags on a short vacation. We had seen a few shows already, and as we walked through our hotel we were accosted by some hard-sell staff offering us tickets for some more shows in exchange for $40 (a bargain for the shows, for sure!). All we had to do was agree to go on an excursion to another hotel in the same chain, just off the strip, for a "2-3 hour presentation" on a timeshare proposal. They said we would even get "breakfast." We thought about it, and decided we really wanted to see the additional shows, so we agreed to be signed up. A few hours later, we happened to overhear another couple complaining about going on the excursion the day before! It turns out the "2-3 hours" grew into 4 hours, and the "breakfast" was only coffee and donuts! Well, we went back to the kiosk where we had signed up and, of course, the person we had signed up with was no longer there. We asked for our money back, and it took about 45 minutes of negotiations before we actually got the money back and were off the hook. We later bumped into others who were taken for a ride (literally) and had regretted wasting the better part of a day like that. Although, I suppose if you were *patient* enough, you'd end up seeing some Vegas shows for a fraction of the actual cost!
I agree, Chris. Patience is huge. I know that is one of my life goals to become more patient. I'm working on it, but it can't come fast enough! 🙂
And thanks to who posted the comment on timeshares. I am really looking for these kinds of stories and anecdotes about the way timeshare people treat prospective (and current) clients as I have no doubt it will be fodder for a future writing project.
Sorry, I was a bit facetious.
Actually, I think patience is the best virtue. Few people have it these days. That's evident in the way technology has evolved for "instant messaging" with "faster servers." You can buy frozen grilled cheese sandwiches in Safeway, and the number of "instant" foods has increased.
We need to know everything *now," of course. That's often a good thing, as in getting tweets about what's happening in Egypt as it occurs.
But this same technology allows people to send text messages with essentially no content as they walk along crowded sidewalks, sit on a bus or (still) drive on freeways. Really? Your gossip about someone you see on the street can't wait 10 minutes until you get home?
It's ironic that according to the old saying: "Patience is a virtue, possess it if you can. It's seldom found in women and never found in men." I've known some very patient people, and most were women, but I have known some very patient men. I think I am as well; I have to be, since I have teenagers!
I had a similar experience in Phoenix. The timeshare interviewer did not lie to us directly, but she certainly wasn't forthcoming about telling us the cost of the plan.
My husband and I were almost at the end of the 2 hour promotion, and with still no mention of money, I asked "How much?". I was shocked when the interviewer started yelling at me to be patient and let her finish. Then she berated us both for wasting her time when we were obviously not interested. She said it was obvious by the way it took us long to make up our list of the 5 top dream places we'd like to travel. We were both very confused by this but becoming increasingly embarassed by her outburst. Everyone in the room was looking at us. I was very angry and told her the interview was over. "No it isn't", she said! (oh yeah, lady … wanta bet). She told us if we wanted any free stuff, we'd have to talk to her supervisor.
The second interview only took 5 minutes while I lodged a complaint about this very rude and unprofessional employee. The supervisor apologized on her behalf, but seemed more interested in convincing us to reconsider. She did divulge the amount of the plan and tried to tell us how wonderful it was, but it was way too late. I really think these people have no souls. All they care about is making a buck. I simply said "No thanks", and got up and left.
My husband waited a few more minutes until she handed him the free coupons. Later that evening, we did go for a nice free dinner, but I'm afraid nothing could take away the bad taste left in our mouths after our embarrassing experience. Never again!
Thanks, Christine. I can honestly say that when I think of the word "honesty," your face comes to mind.
Your mother obviously taught you well and I salute her (and your Dad, too, as I hear it's his 80th birthday!)
My mother taught me that it was important to be honest, even if you can't always be kind. I try and follow that bit of wisdom. I've been lied to when the person thought they were just trying to spare my feelings and be kind. The fact that I'd been lied to hurt more than what was lied about.
There's a line in the song "Reason to Believe"… "You upset the grace of living when you lie." Kind of says it all to me.
I hope this gets resolved in your favour, and that good things come from this bad experience. Thanks for alerting others.
Thanks to Chris and Jay for starting the discussion.
For anyone struggling with what is a virtue, or a list thereof, Stacey Porto has a fabulous site at: http://www.virtuesforlife.com/. Check it out and let us know where you stand.
Thanks for sharing your feelings about what was undoubtedly a very unpleasant experience. Honesty is hugely important. I consider a virtue of mine. It makes coping (my #1 virtue) far easier. I look forward to seeing how this discussion develops. I realize now that I have never addressed this subject in a column. Now I will. Thanks!
My prime virtue? Humility. No question.